Ed rose at 4 AM again. Edna heard him scratching around in his cluttered study. What’s he up to this time?
Around 8 AM Ed plopped his laptop on the kitchen table and grabbed a cup of black coffee.
“Big project?” Edna asked.
“Biggest one yet,” Ed answered solemnly.
“WERELO,” Ed repeated.
Ed motioned for Edna to lower her voice and move closer. “Weather Relocation,” he whispered. “Moving weather patterns. Getting rain to drought and fire areas.”
Edna knew her husband had absolutely no scientific training. “But how?” “That’s where I’m stuck,” Ed replied. ***** This 99-word story is my contribution to the August 26 Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge to "write a story about the need for help in an extreme weather event."
Ed had thoroughly researched how to slice onions without crying. Edna backed away.
Ed plopped a stick of gum in his mouth, softening it with a few chomps. He then curled his tongue while putting a slice of bread in his mouth, making sure it hung out at a 90 degree angle. Next he put on and adjusted his goggles while reaching for the sharpest knife in the drawer. Finally, he held the onion under the faucet and sliced it.
Ed opened the glitzy package and rolled out the multicolored brochure. Luxury Box Seats Now Available said the headline from the local college athletic department.
Ed read on, learning that a $25,000 donation qualifies him to purchase two football seats in the luxury box for only $1,200 per seat for the six home games this season. That’s assuming, of course, that he becomes a premium member of the football booster club at the $2,000 annual giving level.
Ed stared at the materials, daydreaming about the VIP treatment he would receive.
Ed rose early, turned on the coffee and grabbed his phone.
He opened his twitter feed and was alarmed by a tweet from City Hall. URGENT: RESIDENTS MUST BOIL DRINKING WATER UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.
Ed quickly sprung into action. He retrieved the largest pot he could find, filled it with water, and placed it on the hot burner. Within minutes boiling water spewed as it flowed over the top.
Edna woke from the commotion and was horrified. “Whattha?” Ed held up his hands. “Stand back, Edna!” he shouted. "We have to let it boil until they tweet us again.” ***** This 99-word story is my contribution to the July 29 Carrot Ranch Flash Fiction Challenge to "write a story that is ripped from the headlines." My story idea involving literal interpretation was "ripped" from a real news story in which being literal actually worked out a little better.